Like how UT already started since last week and I didn't even study for any of them (as per usual) and how there's this news about this PRC couple that fell to their death while having sex by the window HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD BE THAT DUMB?
AND HOW I'M BROKE NOW W NO MONEY AT ALL HA HA HA
Life's been good, real good. I have amazing colleagues and classmates and I just love them so much. I don't show it but i love you guys so much.
My lovely classmates. xx
And how someone entered my life recently. It feels amazing, and I want it to last forever. And there's a lot of things that I'd love to share with him, but it's crazy. I'm so used to being alone and independent, so when someone just comes up and we have so much things in common and I'm afraid. Afraid of messing things up because I'm not that 'normal'. Afraid that he'll leave, (I know people come and go, but I don't want people to leave my life.) Afraid that I'll be replaced. To make it worse, I'm emotionless as hell. I don't even know how to react to words. To even say "I miss you" is fucking hard. I'm too used being a lone wolf, I didn't really bother about people. If you go, some part of me will die a bit but I'll still stay strong. It's crazy. If you stay with me, I'll make sure your ride with me is worthwhile. If things go right, you would be my first in everything, like literally. And I will never leave.
AND THEN I START TO OVER THINK. FUCK YOU, HEAD. FOREVER. MESSING. WITH. MY. HEAD.
I'm no good, I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, and here I am thinking, why did you even want to get to know me? I'm fucking rude and I got anxiety issues with myself and I don't want to bring anyone down with me. I can never brighten anyone's day and i feel so worthless. So, then I figured. I should stay alone. More better, and I don't have to worry about broken hearts.
WHY AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS? BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING IDIOT. THAT'S WHY.
I'm so messed up, right? Hah, I can't even
Overthinking sucks.
